I'm Alan Alder and this is Clear and Vivid, conversations about connecting and communicating.

You and I sitting here, you smile, you are attention to what I'm saying.

That's enough, tell your wife not to worry, but that's enough for building a good relationship.

Because what you are doing right now, you are giving me your entire attention

and you are asking me questions that I'm interested in. You're not asking me what goals.

Her name is Ruth Westheimer but we all know her as Dr. Ruth,

the helpful lady who's spoken to us for decades about sex with insight and in plain words.

She still uses plain words and we're in for a few of them today,

but we're also going to hear about a new emphasis that she feels is urgent for the times we live in.

We visited Dr. Ruth in her apartment with a great view of the Hudson River

and over cookies and coffee we had a lively conversation which was warm and funny

and so free-wheeling she even took phone call.

I'm so glad to be talking with you today because this is a subject that you have devoted a lot of your life to

that doesn't get talked about much and it's the first time we've talked about it on a show dedicated to relating and communicating

the most intimate form of communication which is sexual communication.

That's what you've voted so much of your life to I think.

But am I right? Do I see a little shift? It seems that in the beginning you talked more about sex

and now you talk about sex as the function of relating.

You seem to be talking more about relating now, is that true?

I don't want to say much more but you're absolutely right.

I am very concerned these days about people who are lonely.

Of all ages young people who haven't found a partner, widows, widowers, every body.

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