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Good Life Project

Dr. Marisa G. Franco | How to Make Adult Friends (and Why They Matter)

Good Life Project

Jonathan Fields / Acast

Education, Wellness, Self-improvement, Midlife, Health & Fitness, Intentional Living, Personal Growth, Living Well, How To

4.53.4K Ratings

🗓️ 20 October 2022

⏱️ 73 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Friends matter, more than you even know. A lack of genuine, open, loving friends can lead to profound loneliness. And that very loneliness can be devastating to both your mental health. But, it goes further than that, the health effects can also wreak more havoc and increase risk of illness, dementia and death, on a level that dramatically exceeds addiction, obesity, and pollution, sometimes combined. 


What’s the solution? We tend to look to find our one person to solve the loneliness problem. That dream partner who makes everything okay. Except, as we’ll learn today, that can, and often is, a recipe for disaster. Better approach - reconnect with, or find and make new, platonic, yet intimate, engaged, and loving friendships.


Sure, you say, easy to do as a kid. But, what about as an adult? Here to walk me through the world of friendships, why they matter and how to make new adult friends, is research-driven psychologist, speaker, and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Marisa Franco. She is the New York Times bestselling author of Platonic, with a research focus on the powerful role of our communities in shaping who we are and why we flourish.


You can find Marisa at: Website | Instagram


If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Kat Vellos about approaching friendships as a design problem to be solved.


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Friendship in adulthood is not like friendship in childhood.

0:03.3

You cannot rely on the same set of assumptions.

0:06.4

Friendship in adulthood does not happen organically.

0:09.7

I'm going to repeat that.

0:10.6

It does not happen organically.

0:13.4

You have to try, right?

0:15.5

And I think people are so afraid of rejection.

0:18.3

But the reality is people are less likely to reject you than you think.

0:21.3

Like we have this whole culture of lonely people looking for connection.

0:24.4

You know, and I think sometimes we assume everybody has their friends when,

0:27.2

you know, the data is telling us no, they do not.

0:32.1

Okay, so here's the deal. Friends matter more than you even know.

0:37.1

A lack of genuine open loving friends,

0:40.3

it can lead to profound loneliness.

0:42.4

And that very loneliness can be devastating to both your mental health.

0:47.1

But also, it goes further than that.

0:49.2

The health effects on your physical body, your physiology,

0:52.8

can wreak more havoc and increase the risk of illness

0:56.2

and dementia and even death on a level that dramatically exceeds things like

1:01.2

addiction, obesity, pollution, sometimes combined.

1:04.4

So what's the solution?

1:06.0

Well, we tend to look for our quote one person to solve the loneliness problem,

...

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