Dr. K: Feeling Lost in Your 20s or 30s? (THIS Mindset Shift Will Help You Find Direction & Purpose)
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 28.5K Ratings
🗓️ 22 September 2025
⏱️ 123 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you ever feel lost?
What usually helps you find your way back?
Today, Jay sits down with @HealthyGamerGG (Dr. K), psychiatrist, meditation teacher, and author of How to Raise a Healthy Gamer, for an eye-opening conversation about why so many young people feel lost and disconnected in today’s world. Together, they uncover the hidden struggles millions face: loneliness, confusion, and the constant pressure of feeling “behind in life,” even when everything looks fine on the outside. Dr. K shares how shifting milestones and rising societal pressures have fueled an epidemic of uncertainty, leaving many to question their worth, direction, and identity.
Together, Jay and Dr. examine how ego, technology, and external expectations shape the way we see ourselves. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology, and Eastern philosophy, Dr. K explains how the constant search for validation traps us in cycles of comparison and self-criticism. He offers practical tools for breaking free, learning to tell the difference between “thinking about yourself” and truly “paying attention to yourself,” observing emotions without attaching heavy meaning to them, and discovering peace in stillness. This conversation is a powerful reminder that the way out of overwhelm isn’t found in doing or achieving more, but in cultivating clarity and connection within.
They dive into the challenges of masculinity, purpose, relationships, and the many forms of modern addiction, from pornography to overwork. Dr. K emphasizes that true healing begins with embracing discomfort, processing the emotions we’ve long avoided, and choosing our own values rather than living by society’s script.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Overcome a Quarter-Life Crisis
How to Tell The Difference Between Identity and Identification
How to Stop Feeling Behind in Life
How to Pay Attention Instead of Overthinking
How to Quiet the Ego’s Voice
How to Process Painful Emotions Safely
How to Build Healthier Relationships with Boundaries
How to Reduce the Grip of Technology on Your Mind
Growth doesn’t come from racing toward milestones or comparing yourself to others, but from learning to pause, pay attention, and listen to what’s happening within. Every challenge you face can be a doorway to deeper clarity, resilience, and peace.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:08 Are You Having a Quarter-Life Crisis?
06:58 Why You Really Feel Behind in Life
12:35 Thinking About Yourself vs. Paying Attention to Yourself
15:45 Discovering the True Source of Suffering
20:35 Why Chasing Growth Isn’t Real Growth
23:54 Remember You Always Have a Choice
28:50 How to Stop Living for Others’ Opinions
36:00 The Brain’s Natural Ability to Heal
37:29 Learning to Let Go of Ego
43:07 Living in a World Where People Feel Replaceable
46:06 Why Is Modern Dating So Difficult?
51:41 It’s Never Too Late to Turn Your Life Around
54:40 What is True Masculinity Today?
59:57 Common Challenges Women Face Today
01:06:45 Rising from Judgment to Understanding
01:14:04 How to Become a Better Partner
01:17:25 There’s Not Just One Path to Growth
01:28:55 How Emotions Shape Your Behavior
01:37:07 The Hidden Root of Pornography Addiction
01:39:50 The Harmful Effects of Pornography
01:41:46 Steps to Prevent Pornography Addiction
01:43:48 Making Better Choices That Lead to Purpose
01:48:44 Paying Attention Within to Find Clarity
01:51:46 Dissolving Ego Through Service
01:56:02 Dr. K on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Check out more from Dr.K on the HealthyGamerGG Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/6VaJwyS2KXxiXqR77jqzmP?si=2fbfbaece86441a4
Dr. K | Website
Dr. K | YouTube
Dr. K | Instagram
Dr. K | X
Dr. K | Twitch
Dr. K | TikTok
Dr. K | LinkedIn
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an IHeart podcast. |
| 0:04.1 | 50% of people under the age of 30s still live with their parents. |
| 0:08.1 | 70% of people in their 20s are going through something called a quarter life crisis. |
| 0:13.0 | He's a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who specializes in modern mental health. |
| 0:16.8 | Meet Dr. Kay. It's the man behind Healthy Gamer. |
| 0:19.3 | And the voice helping millions navigate the digital world. |
| 0:21.6 | What does someone do with the feeling of feeling being left behind? |
| 0:25.6 | People who feel like they're not enough, that feeling comes from trying to make other people happy and failing. |
| 0:32.6 | Humans need to grow. We need to pursue something. |
| 0:35.6 | We need to move in a certain direction to stay alive. True or false. |
| 0:39.3 | Chasing growth is not the same as growing. A lot of people get focused on doing, but they don't pay attention to what's happening. |
| 0:48.1 | What does it even mean to be a man right now? A lot of masculinity right now is men trying to become as manly as possible in the |
| 0:55.7 | alpha sense. And that doesn't translate over into happiness and that doesn't work. |
| 1:00.1 | When you look at people who are growing up right now, people in their 20s and 30s, |
| 1:04.2 | why is it that they're confused, lonely, hurt when externally everything seems to look okay? |
| 1:12.2 | The number one health and wellness podcast. |
| 1:15.2 | Jay Shetty. |
| 1:16.0 | Jay Shetty. |
| 1:16.6 | The one, the only. |
| 1:18.3 | Jay Shetty. |
| 1:20.7 | Hey, everyone. |
| 1:21.7 | Welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier, and more healed. |
... |
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