Dr. Ingrid Clayton and Fawn Stars: The Hidden Cost of People Pleasing (Part 1)

A Little Bit Culty

Sarah Edmondson & Anthony “Nippy” Ames

True Crime, Society & Culture, Education

4.6 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 27 October 2025

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if the thing you’ve been calling “people-pleasing” is actually your nervous system doing a full-blown survival routine? In this episode, we welcomed Dr. Ingrid Clayton, clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back. Part memoir, part emotional mic-drop, Ingrid’s work reframes “fawning” as a deeply human, body-based response—not a character flaw—and helps us see how our most selfless instincts can actually mask self-abandonment. We unpacked the messy truth about over-apologizing, over-functioning, and why some of us can’t bring ourselves to hit “unsubscribe.” From survival to healing to what it really means to reclaim your autonomy, Ingrid’s insights hit right in the gut (and somehow also feel like a hug). Welcome to Fawn Star Academy! Class is in session.

Be sure to pick up Ingrid’s book, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back. Also follow her on Instagram and Substack @IngridClaytonPhd or visit her website at IngridClayton.com.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or mental health advice.
0:06.1	The views and opinions express do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast
0:10.6	and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone, or anything.
0:17.0	Music. anything.
0:28.0	I'm Sarah Edmondson.
0:31.1	And I'm Anthony Nippy Ames, and this is a little bit culty.
0:35.8	We woke up from a cult, and that journey was captured in the vow on HBO and in my memoir,
0:36.4	scarred.
0:40.3	Now, in this podcast, we break down the shame and secrets that make these experiences so destructive with honest conversations on how seemingly benign groups can cross into
0:44.7	the cult of us, and how to spot and recover from trouble if it happens to you.
0:48.8	Each week, we bring an expert, survivors, and whistleblowers to explore red flags, resilience,
0:52.9	and even share a few laughs because because sometimes you've got to laugh.
0:56.0	Subscribe to our Patreon for early and ad-free listening, some live Q&A and exclusive content at patreon.com slash A Little Bit Culty.
1:03.0	Welcome to Season 8 of A Little Bit Culty.
1:06.0	Seeking down to the way that was funny.
1:22.2	You do it in the way that you just did it.
1:24.4	I thought it was funny.
1:25.2	Welcome back to this week's episode of A Little Bit culty. Yeah, that's prettyy. You like that? You like it? You guys, sometimes we just get a little excited because we read a book that not only is so helpful, this book was probably more helpful for me. You'll see why. No. It was helpful for you too? In different ways, in different ways. I drop a little knowledge on this one, kind of. I'm a little proud of myself.
2:01.9	All I have to say is that it's such a gift. Like, I get to read a book, talk to the author for an hour and a half, and then share it with you all, and then spend the rest of my week thinking about it. And this book I probably texted to 80 to 90 women friends of mine. You have 80 to 90 women friends? Maybe not that many.
2:02.8	I don't know.
2:03.1	I have like two.
2:04.8	Well, this is one of my new friends.
	...

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