Hello and welcome to Dopey, the podcast about drugs addiction and dumb shit, and I am Dave.

I am Chris. You are a jerk. Why am I a jerk? Well, the jerk store called and they're all out of you. They're all out of you. So, what do you think, man? What's up? How are you feeling?

I'm feeling pretty good. I'm feeling my mojo. I'm wide awake. I'm ready to go. Dave took me through the back entrance of his restaurant tonight. It was, I felt empowered. Did you like it? I thought it was going to be much more

strapping and I thought I was going to get to see the alpha chips and Dominican sleeping, but it was just like a 15 foot deal. But that wasn't the basement. That was the back. How was I supposed to know what it was? And I didn't show you the big elevator or the spring that runs through the basement where midget juice bottled water as they sing songs. Where do they like marinate the meats and stuff? I don't marinate the meats. Enough talk. I don't talk about this. This is not what the show is going to do though.

The show is not going to be out of meat marinating and midget juice and spring water. Oh, I was, we had some topics of recovery. I mean of drug addiction, more than recovery. One being pathetic things we've done. Not pathetic things we've done. Yeah, I guess pathetic things we've talked about. No, the thing is it's the, yeah, the most, what I understood from your topic was it was the most pathetic using story.

Like, like, you know, it's like what I really wanted to get high and I didn't have drugs some of the stuff I did. That's what I really meant. Or like, when I get it, I couldn't wait to do it. I have so many.

All right. Why don't we just start with that? What did you think? Is that what you thought I meant? Yeah, yeah. But I mean, and when you asked me if I had a bunch, I was like, yeah, but not that I think about it. I, I, like, my classic story for this and it's not that good. But my classic story was one time.

I was addicted to heroin and I wanted to get clean. So me and my friend Dave went up to my parents house, which is outside of Albany, New York. And it's this lake house in the middle of nowhere. You know what I mean? And there's nothing there. And it's just like in a movie, you go there to detox drugs. Yeah. You know what I mean? And we went out there. That's what Todd is on there. He's nearby. But he wasn't there in that. You know, we try calling Todd tonight.

We try calling him right now. Just call him. See what I find out. They keep telling your story because he's not an answer. We went. We went to my parents house. Let's take a message for him and he'll know it's a dopey.

I don't want to leave a voicemail. But this message is no. I'm just going to hang up. I'm angry at Todd. Okay. I don't even want to call him. But I think he's so good on the show. He's so good.

I'm not speakerphone. No, I was going to put it to my ear.

You know hold it to this. This is what I'm microphone right there. Maybe you should hold the butt of the fun there.

You should hold it. You should shut up. You should go fuck yourself. You should go fuck that sober guy.

I like to do an Omar mentioned facts. I know. There's some strong language from the library.

Your call has been forwarded. You want to automate it for me?

You want to leave a message? No. Should we give the dopey nation his number? No.

And tell him to text him and say, how you doing Todd? No. No. Let's leave Todd alone. Okay. So you were in Albany.

So I was, we were in this town. It's actually a, like a town called Huzik or Grafton if you guys are from there. One of these tiny towns.

And we get there and we're instantly sick and we're instantly like, why did we come here? We need to get high.

So we got some like some sort of painkiller that was in a gel cap but it was like not a good prescription thing.

Yeah, but it was not like a good painkiller and we started snorting it. We like undid the gel cap and it was like froze up our nose.

It was solidified in our nose and it burned and it wasn't like a powder. It was like shards and plastic.

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