Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship,

from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

You deserve respecting kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being, and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Welcome to another episode of love and abuse.

I don't normally talk about the labels that we hear about,

like narcissism and sociopath and narcissistic abuse,

all the labels that we've heard,

typically in psychology and articles and things like that,

I don't use them because they are like umbrella terms that cover all the behaviors.

But if you go around using the umbrella terms,

you tend to take your focus off the behaviors.

That's why I keep those terms at a minimum

on this show. And when you know that the behaviors, when you can identify the behaviors, you can

address those behaviors specifically. Because someone who says, you're being emotionally abusive,

they risk the turnaround game,

where somebody will turn it around back to you by using the same term.

I mean, there are all kinds of things that make up the turnaround game, but what I'm referring to is when somebody, uh, takes what you said to them and turns it back on you or what you're

implying that they're doing or in this case a label that covers a multitude of behaviors,

what can end up happening is you use a top level label like, hey, you're a narcissist

...