Don't Wait To Be Proud

The Daily Dad

Daily Dad

Society & Culture, Dads, Relationships, Parenting, Self-improvement, Kids & Family, Ryan Holiday, Wisdom, Education, Fatherhood

4.8 • 602 Ratings

🗓️ 5 February 2020

⏱️ 3 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It’s a story as old as fatherhood itself. The son or daughter kills themselves to win the approval of their dad, which never seems to come. There is pain, resentment, bewilderment. I have worked so hard to make you proud, am I just not enough? Only at the end, or after the parent’s death, is it revealed: The child had the thing they wanted all along. They just never knew.

This was Claudia Williams’, the daughter of Ted Williams, story. Only buried in a pile of memorabilia did she find a note left by her impossible-to-please father. “To my beautiful daughter,” it said, “I love you. Dad.’” In a recent obituary of the brilliant publisher Sonny Mehta, Roger Cohen writes:

“When Mehta’s father, a diplomat, died in Vienna, Mehta found in his desk a folder with every article ever published about him. The pride of his father, who had never complimented his son, was evident.”

It breaks your heart. Why couldn’t they have expressed some of this when they were alive? Was it a generational thing? Did they think it was helping to make their kids better, tougher? We wonder this about our own parents sometimes: Did they lack the words, did they just not know any better? Why couldn’t they have been more like Jim Valvano’s father and given us the gift of being a fan?

In the end, these questions don’t get answered. We’ll never know. What we do know, what does matter, is what we do with our kids right now. We have been given a second chance. We have been given our own opportunity. We can’t wait to be proud. We can’t keep our feelings for them hidden under piles of paper or in a drawer in our desk. We have to tell them now. We have to show them now.

That we’re rooting for them. That we love them. That we believe in them. That we’re proud of them. Because we are. And they deserve to know it—before it’s too late. Before it’s just some bittersweet memory of a connection that should have been there...but for mysterious reasons, never was made.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every day to help you with your most
0:14.3	important job being a dad. These are lessons inspired by ancient philosophy, by practical wisdom,
0:23.6	and insights from dads all over the world. Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.
0:31.6	Don't wait to be proud. It's a story as old as fatherhood itself. The son or daughter kills themselves to win the
0:41.8	approval of their dad, which never seems to come. There's pain, resentment, bewilderment. I've worked so hard to
0:48.9	make you proud, am I? Am I? Am I not enough? Only at the end or after their death as it revealed. They've had the thing they
0:55.8	wanted all along. This was the story of Claudia Williams, the daughter of Ted Williams.
1:01.5	Only buried in a pile of memorabilia did she find a note left by her impossible to please father.
1:07.5	To my beautiful daughter, he said, I love you, dad. In a recent obituary of the brilliant
1:13.5	publisher, Sonny Meta, Roger Cohen writes, when Meta's father, a diplomat died in Vienna,
1:19.5	meta found in his desk a folder with every article ever published about him. The pride of his
1:24.9	father, who had never complimented his son, was evident.
1:28.6	It breaks your heart. Why couldn't they have expressed some of this when they were alive?
1:33.1	Was it a generational thing? Did they think it was helping make their kids better, tougher?
1:37.9	We wonder this about our own parents sometimes. Did they lack the words? Did they just not know any better?
1:43.6	Why couldn't they have been more like Jim Volvano's father and given lack the words? Did they just not know any better? Why couldn't they have been more like
1:45.4	Jim Volvano's father and given us the gift of being a fan? In the end, these questions don't get
1:51.9	answered. We'll never know. What we do know what does matter is what we do with our kids right now.
1:57.9	We've been given a second chance. We've been given an opportunity. We can't wait
2:03.0	to be proud. We can't keep our feelings for them hidden under piles of paper or in a drawer in our
2:08.6	desk. We have to tell them now. We have to show them now. That we're rooting for them,
2:13.7	that we love them, that we believe in them, that we're proud of them because we are,
	...

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