So I was standing in a circle praying with the rest of my youth group at the church.

And I just remember all of us gathered around. The pastor was praying,

intensely killing it and somebody said Mo why your eyes open close your eyes fair and then a few people looked up and they looked at me with disgust and disappointment.

And then they went back to closing their eyes. And I'd never felt so judged.

And I think even the pastor might have like opened one eye right in the middle of thank you

Lord right in the middle of saving someone. And all I could think of in that moment was,

this is some bullshit, because the only way

that he knew my eyes were open was if his eyes were open.

Why are you judging me in church?

This isn't fair.

No, they always say it's never the person who hits first that gets caught. It's the person who defends himself.

My eyes were open because I had a traumatic experience. All right? I passed out once in church, in the middle of prayer. I don't know how it happened the

Pastor said the devil came sat on my chest. That's what he said. I passed out. So yes for a little while

I was afraid to close my eyes during prayer because I thought it might happen again, especially when I was up in the church.

But why was his eyes open? Nobody ever got to the bottom of that?

Why were your eyes open and know that my eyes... Nobody ever got to the bottom of that.

Why were your eyes open and know that my eyes were open?

That's the only way you could know.

He ain't have to explain that one, but they're gonna still judge me every time I go back to the church.

I'm terrified to open my eyes at any point when I go back to the church now.

I'm walking down the aisles bumping into things because I'm still scared to open my eyes.

That's not fair.

...