Oh my gosh, hi, it's me, Dave Holmes.

Welcome to Troubled Waters, the show that treats popular culture as the most important kind of culture,

because, you know, it's the one that's got salt burn in it.

To this end, Troubled Waters pits a pair of entertainers against one another in a pop culture battle to the ego death.

To win this battle, each of our guests will be called upon to use their smarts, their rhetorical

skills, the great comebacks that they only thought of one second too late to earn the coveted

troubled waters title, Pundit Amaritus, which will automatically give their opinion on issues

like someone streaking in It's a Small World. Did that happen?

Am I more surprised if that happened or that it took so long for that to happen?

Anyway, it'll give their opinion on that more weight than a civilians.

You're listening to troubled waters. Let's meet our guests.

And just before we meet you individually, are either of you the one who streaked in

it's a small world?

Not to my recollection, but, you know, I am, I have been known to drink a little.

And there's a kid, there's some sleep deprivation issues.

It could have been you.

Combined, yes, exactly.

It could have been you.

Two beers and two hours of sleep.

Let's do this.

Mm-hmm.

And you're naked in an ankle-deep water and some, you know, probably not totally sensitive

...