Does Willy Wonka Know How to Run a Damn Competition?
Plumbing the Death Star
Sanspants Radio
4.7 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 19 April 2026
⏱️ 64 minutes
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Summary
Jackson is so mad at Wonka that he forgot the golden rule of running a competition: the goal for the company, or in this instance, the man, is to get as much money as humanly possible. Jackson is so hellbent on Charlie becoming Wonka’s heir that he has perhaps forgotten that Willy Wonka is a famous dirtbag, liar and exploiter of workers. Perhaps with an incredible record setting year in chocolate sales, Wonka has picked this moment to scarper with all those funds and then give the key to his “fortune” to some stupid child who was too busy sucking down snozzberries to realise he had been scammed. Charlie is a literal child, he doesn’t know anything about taxes, shareholders or ROI. Two years down the line, he’s going to get a knock on the door while Wonka has disappeared into the wind, laying down on some beautiful island getting his snozzberry slopped off. We’d say not that island, but truth be told, would you be surprised if Wonka’s name appeared on a list? Charlie is going to rot in jail. Idiot child. Just like Jacksom.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What's up gamers and fans of podcasts in general? |
| 0:06.0 | Are you a gamer and a fan of a podcast and maybe in Sydney in April? |
| 0:12.5 | That was my practice one. |
| 0:13.6 | I'm good to go. |
| 0:14.0 | It was really good. |
| 0:17.5 | I don't think you need to practice anymore. |
| 0:28.5 | What's up, gamers, and fans of other podcasts that aren't necessarily video game-based. |
| 0:31.9 | Did you know that Thumbcrams is heading to Sydney in April? |
| 0:33.0 | That's right. |
| 0:41.8 | Thumbcrams and Friends present Sidney April on April 16 at 7.30 p.m. at where? What? The factory theater. I don't know. Why are you looking at us? Don't look at me, dude. You tell me where we're performing. |
| 0:47.3 | We're performing it in the factory floor, which is one of the rooms in the wonderful factory theater. |
| 0:52.4 | And when? I don't know that either. I said just before. Well, remind, he wasn't listening. I'm not listening. I don't know what's going on. I'm very scared. And it's on April 16. Thursday, April 16, at 7.30 p.m. respectable time for a weeknight. Yeah. And thumb cramps obviously is hosted by me and Jackson. |
| 1:11.3 | Yes. |
| 1:11.9 | You might have heard when I said thumb cramps and friends present things in April. And you're probably sitting there being like, who they're friends. I'd love to buy a ticket to this podcast, but I need to know who their friends are. Great news. It's Joel Zammett. Hello, I'm right here. You probably heard my voice from before when I said, what? I don't know what's going on |
| 1:27.1 | You can expect some of that |
| 1:28.2 | But you can also expect that from |
| 1:29.3 | Andrew Levens |
| 1:30.3 | He's not in the studio currently. We can't throw to him. He'll be there. Steph Panicassio. Also not in the studio. But you can imagine what she might say. Chloe Appleby. Same thing. Bet she'd have a good joke right about now. Ruby Inters. |
| 1:45.0 | I bet she'd say something mean to me. |
| 1:47.0 | Yeah. |
| 1:48.0 | Those are the friends, but whose thumb cramps? |
| 1:50.0 | Well, it's Joel Dusha. |
... |
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