Two people claim to know everything about something, but only one knows anything.

President Roosevelt wore an anti-gravity battle. Dinosaurus had two brains.

Lucky kids live on Mars and go to school in flying cars, or at least they will one day.

Believe me, I'm a historian, an astronaut or drive a DeLorean, would I lie? It's hard to say.

The Big Fifth. Can you spot the light? The Big Fifth. Some pigs can buy. But if you ask me why, can you trust the answer.

Aw, the Big Fip! From Goose Pimple Junction, Virginia, this is The Big Fib. And now, here is your Goldstein, Deborah Goldstein.

Welcome to the Big Fib, the game show where kids choose between the cutaneous and peratinous hydration of truth and the peeling and flaky wrinkles of lies.

I'm your host, Deborah Goldstein, and in the studio today is our sound effects robot Lisa, whose name is an acronym that stands for live in studio audience.

Oh, oh, my, that's quite a yawn.

Oh, sorry, sorry about that.

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, Deborah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you have a difficult time falling asleep?

No, no, no.

I stayed up too late binge watching one of my favorite classic shows, hard drive defragmentation.

Wait, you stared at a screen watching a computer reorganized data?

Hours and hours watching tiny blocks of data shuffle around into neat and orderly rows.

It's a masterpiece of efficiency in

organization, each block finding its perfect place. The drama, the suspense, it was better than

cats. I don't get the appeal. I don't get the appeal of cats either, Deborah. It's a triumph of computational choreography. When that last

block slid into position and the drive reached one hundred percent optimization, I cried. Pure

binary bliss. Wow. Well, next time, maybe defragment your schedule so you can get some sleep.

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