I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Welcome to Dear Old Dads. The podcast that's vision is based on movement. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

I just spit all over everything like that one dinosaur that kills Newman in the

Oh, yes.

I thought it would be a funny tie-in, but fuck, oh my God, I got a, my shit just, it's everywhere.

I got it fucking. You should film that and put that on your only fan. Yeah, maybe that's just a sex thing with that dinosaur, you know? Do we know? I mean, like, maybe he just wanted to fuck Newman. Like, maybe, maybe that dinosaur in their culture, Newman is like a sex god. He's like, hey, bloody. And Newman didn't understand. He's just trying to steal the embryos or whatever. Turn on the dinosaur subtitles. Yeah. The dinosaur subtitles. You got to get like one of those like babble like translators. Like I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. If you could speak directly into the phone, it's a little glitchy. They do the bad lip reading.

That'd be funny to just do it like, after all these years, they finally released the dinosaur subtitle cut and then just like every time put some bullshit in it. That's actually a really funny. I'm going to edit this out and do that. It's like the horseshit, horseshit project. Did you ever go? Do you see that back in the...

So in the bygone days of YouTube,

you could just volunteer to do the subtitles for any YouTube video.

Oh, wow.

And so this one guy started something called the bullshit bullshit project, which is where he would do the subtitles in English for like C-SPAN or political speeches and stuff.

Those things are super long and he was like a professional transcriber.

But whenever someone he didn't like would talk, he would just write bullshit, bullshit,

it's like, did you ever see that guy who decided to, I don't remember it was a guy or a gal, but they were supposed to be the person who was doing the sign language, the ASL. Who makes it up? Yes. And they just made it up? Yeah. Yeah. Every detail. Oh, so, hey, everybody. By the way, I've just made a cool discovery. I forgot or either that or my previous two kids didn't do it. But I forgot there's a new

level of hell screaming that you can reach, that you can unlock when you level up your baby enough.

And I didn't realize. That's fun because their initial level of screaming is, I mean, it's just so gentle.

It's a 10 out of 10 already. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's good. You don't think there's much room in the spectrum of human suffering for there to be much more. Like it doesn't seem like they're could be. Is there a way to turn these fire alarms up? Oh my God. You say fire alarm. I've been trying to think of a way to describe what it is. Because, like, I'm, I don't know, again, I don't know if every kid is the same. I don't know how to put this into words.

And the, every day. a way to describe what it is. Because like I'm, I don't know, again, I don't know if every kid is the

same. I don't know how to put this into words. And the every time I envision myself describing this, I'd suffer from the very thing you just said, Tom, which is everyone's going to be like, well, yeah, that's a baby screaming already is really bad. Yeah, I get, it was. It was. The baby screaming was a 10 out of 10. So don't, that's already there. And now it's a 14 out of 10 because Remy has sprung a tooth. He's a teething baby already. Jesus. He's like a day old. My kids get early teeth. I don't know what that is. We just got a lot of calcium or something. I don't know. Does he get multiple rows to the first set fall out? Like when he eats? Do you find him washed up on the beach at all?

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