I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Welcome to dear old dads, the podcast that's going to start with a nice back rub. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen. Oh, I love a good back rub. Don't promise things you're not delivering, Tom, because I... Oh, I always deliver Thomas Smith. I always deliver my friends. I've been promised one back rub and I'm not... That's right. These hands are magic. Next time I see you, Tom. And I'm talking table massage.

None of this chair massage bullshit. I want to be oil. I want to be slick. Slic. There is no way you're

walking away with complaints. Let me just, let me just offer that. You walk away. Well, maybe gentle hands.

I hear that sometimes. Gentle hands. Gentle hands. If we're doing requests, Tom, I want like 13 seconds of neck rub and then instantly

you initiate sex with me. Like, that's what I... That's what I'd prefer. Are you guys massagers?

Like, do you guys give massage? Like, is that like a thing? I do not as often as I should.

Yeah, same. Because I am, I want massages all the time. All the time. I am in constant,

horrifying amounts of shoulder and arm and neck pain all the time, because we're hunched over a computer all day, obviously. And so I always want massages. And truly, it's funny because this week's episode is kind of

about that sort of give and take and understanding it. Thus, Tom's excellent introduction.

But, like, the thing I have had to learn is not a libido gap or a romance gap, which is what

we're going to talk about today, but a massage gap, which is that, like, every time Anna is holding still on any surface ever, no matter how public the place, I can't

just slide up to her like a walrus to a smoothened rock and ask for shoulder rubs, even though

I want them all the time.

I'll tell you something funny, like when Haley and I first got together, because I also I want them all the time. I'll tell you something funny.

Like when Haley and I first got together, because I also am a fan of the back rub. I don't need, like, the massage. You just kind of want like a back rub, you know? So Haley and I would walk around in public, like shopping at Target or whatever. And what I realized at one point, and I don't know how I came to it, but is if I kind of position my shoulders back,

she'll unconsciously reach out and start rubbing my back. You've like done Pavlov with her somehow? Like it absolutely cracks me up, though. It is. It's just like that. Like, so she like I'll just kind of like. And then she's, she's of course realized it since then because now she'll call me out on it. But the first, I don't know how many times, we're just walking around, like in the grocery store or whatever. She's looking at the cereal. I'm, you know, getting something else. And I'll just kind of like point my back and shoulders. Yep. Just without even thinking, her arm reaches out. And I'm like, I fucking love my life. That's all I need. just fucking touch this thing. Anna could be deactivating a bomb. And if I see a space that my shoulder could fit in between that red wire and the blue wire, I'm just going to sneak that bad boy in there, try and get a little rub going. Have you guys ever had one of your small children say they wanted to give you a massage in quotes? Oh, no. He has begun to walk on my back. Exactly. That's what they usually do. I'll be like, hey, jump up on there, Phoebe. And it's like, okay. You know, it's not great. But like, I don't know, the little feet might distract from the constant, absolutely near constant pain.

It's a different sensation.

It's fun.

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