I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Welcome to dear old dads, the podcast that wouldn't harm a fly. Unless that fly couldn't figure out a goddamn zipper merge. I'm Tom Curry and I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Oh, teasing the episode already. Tom, teasing the episode already. You know, this is a this is a double teaser, right? Because we're going to talk about, we're going to talk a little bit about the pickup drop off line. But, you know, speaking of the fly, what's going on, uh, unzipping yours,

Eli? How was your vasectomy great or super great?

It was so bad.

It was so bad.

This is, it was really, it, I'm really.

This is the craziest thing.

This is the only thing I can assume.

You don't have a patriarchy truly, and I'm not doing this ironically. You know how the patriarchy truly dominates all areas of our society? Yeah. Right? And like, it is incredibly difficult to be a woman. It's true, except for one thing. They must have gotten together with the patriarchy. And the matriarchy was like, okay, cool. we will be essentially chattel for the first 2,000 years of human history. But when the vasectomy is invented, you lie and you tell everyone that it's not a big deal. And then it's just going to be buying 40 an hour. And the patriarchy was like, okay. Oh, my God. I'm so worried about this because I think men should give vasectomies, and I'm going to give this act of me, I'm worried you guys are both going to scare people and me, but I'm definitely

still doing it.

I'm not saying don't get a vasectomy.

I'm saying prepare for your ball sack to have been turned inside out as opposed to the

mole removal they pitched this thing as, right? My doctor said I would be good to work the day of my vasectomy. When I asked him for pain meds, I was like, hey, and just in case, can I get some pain meds because it's a Friday and your office closes for two days? He was like, you know, most people don't even need Tylenol. And I was like, yeah, but just the case, though. And then he turned my ball sack inside out.

So first things first, let's talk about the definition of I can't feel it,

because we have two very different definitions of the ability to feel.

One is the full pain of what it's like to have someone cut open your ball sack. And you don't have that. But you can very, very clearly feel a guy fishing around in your ball sack and then finding the goop and then being like, whack. And then you smell it when he burns it closed. Yeah, that is gross. I will agree with you there. The sound and the smell, because you can also hear the scalpel and you can hear the powerizing tool. Put me to sleep. I don't want to be a late. It's like a steak sizzling. Yes. It's like a bad sound. It's not a good sound. I'm insisting on it. No, I'm fucking, fuck it. I'm insisting. I don't care. I'll pay out of pocket.

I don't get a shit.

Get it done in a back alley if you have to, Thomas. Do not be awake for that shit. No, the opposite of that. I want a front alley. I want to, yeah, I want a nice lab coats and put me to sleep and whatever, you know. Also, my guy, in the most bored fucking voice possible, kept saying he's still bleeding.

That's the only thing he's... and whatever, you know? Also, my guy, in the most bored fucking voice possible,

...