I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Welcome to Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's ready for the big day. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

Hello.

I'm most certainly not ready for a big day. What are we talking about? You know, you've known about this for quite some time. You know, you get really responsible for getting yourself. He's in a wedding dress. Shit. Fuck. Oh, that's good. I got my dress on. That seems amazing. All right. So, I wanted to talk to you guys about. freshly vasectomied.

Freshly vasectomied, not actually vasectomy.

Don't get excited.

Thomas, All right. So I wanted to talk to you guys about... Freshly vasectomide. Freshly vasectomide? Not actually vasectomy. Don't get excited. Thomas will, but you can't. If I'm putting a wedding dress on him, I'm also going to snip his vast deference. That's what I'm saying. Eli, I think you have an obligation to, like, he's staying at your Airbnb, right? He's sleeping in a house that I will have access to. If I can't rely on the sanctity of my own sack staying in another person's home, then that. I feel like that violates the core old English law. Like you can't. It's true. I should be safe in my things and effects and sack. If you pass out first, everybody is allowed to draw a dick on your face. Is allowed to draw a dick on your face. We know this. We know this. This is law. Seal your vast difference. Come on. You know me. You know how much I would murder anyone who ever did that in my presence ever at all time. That was one of those things. I could never be in a frat. Could never do it. No, no.

I've actually, I've never had friends that would do that. Like every friend I've ever had,

like, if somebody passed out, they were just like, oh shit, let's make sure he's okay and take care of him. I've never had like, asshole friends that fuck with people. So this is why I just don't get most men, Tom, because most men are like,

oh, yeah, and I'm like, why would you ever do that?

What is the point?

Well, if that's how you're going to represent my argument,

that I'm going to why would you ever do that?

What is the point? Well, if that's how you're going to represent my argument, then I'm not even going to bother. I had a close friend of mine that he did go away to college. He joined a frat, and I went down to visit him, and like, the frat that he was a part of was It's a fucking small town bullshit college

And like fucking central Illinois

Nessled amongst the corn goblins

Just him and like the frat that he was a part of was it's a fucking small town bullshit college and like

fucking central Illinois nestled amongst the corn goblins just terrible nothing town nothing little

college nothing little people that went there hey man and like it just was it was a total shit show

...