Doctors of Reddit. What was your dumbest R-slash-I-Am-Vary Smart patient experience?

R-N here. I see some crazy stuff, but one thing that stands out was the time I was admitting

a guy to the hospital. I can't really remember what for, but he was about 400 pounds, diabetic,

heart disease, you name it. Anyhow, I'm at the computer going over some admission questions

with him and his 10 family members who going over some admission questions with him and

his 10 family members who are crowded in the room with him. A few minutes in, he starts complaining

that he's thirsty. He needs something to drink right now. So I get on my phone and call the

nurse assistant and ask her to bring in some ice water. As soon as the words are out of my mouth,

the whole family screams, no, no water! He's allergic to water!

Well, this is going to be a problem. Turns out the guy had been drinking nothing but spright and

sweet tea for years because of his water allergy. The next question the wife had was,

where are we all supposed to sleep? The whole family, 10 people, were planning to stay at the hospital

with him.

You can't make this stuff up.

I was working at a clinic.

I was speaking with a non-controlled diabetic patient about her sugar intake, and she says she

drinks a 32-ounce soda every day.

I ask her if it's regular or diet, and she replies with, it's half regular.

I let the ice melt first, so there isn't as much sugar in it.

Sorry, but that isn't how it works. I had a patient who was a completely non-compliant diabetic,

smoker, morbidly obese, who had his first heart attack at 45. His blood pressure was also super

high. And instead of taking his anti-hypertensive medications, he went to the gym.

...