Medical professionals. What's something ridiculous you've had to explain to your patients?

Story from 2015 to an 84-year-old man with a candlestick in his rectum, that you don't need to massage your prostate with a candle once a month.

A doctor had apparently told him 15 years ago to do this, and he had not questioned it since.

I was going to say, well, it was a different time,

but then I realized 15 years ago was the year 2000. September changed a lot of things, man.

Firefighter slash EMT here. Just because you're taking medication for something doesn't mean it's

going to go away. Here's a real conversation that happens about once or twice per shift

at minimum. Me, do you have any medical history, diseases, sicknesses, and or conditions I should

be aware of? Patient. No? Are you currently taking or supposed to be taking any medications?

Yeah, I'm on, insert 12 different medications here.Ah, I see one of your medications is metformin.

"'Are you a diabetic?

"'Not anymore. I just told you I'd take meds for it.

"'Me.

"'Sye.

"'I had to explain to my 75-year-old grandmother

"'that there isn't one straight tube connecting your ears.

"'She put ear drops in, put cotton in her other ear before

she laid down, so it wouldn't leak out the other side. Those instructions must have gone

in one ear and out the other. Having to explain that I can't figure out what's wrong with them

over the phone. My mom called me and asked me what the rash on her elbow was. After five minutes

of trying to explain that I needed to see the rash, I finally asked her

what she thought of the shirt I was wearing.

...