Medical professionals. What's the craziest DIY treatment you've seen a patient attempt?

I had a guy come in for coughing and shortness of breath for the past few months.

His lungs sounded like absolute crap.

Got a chest x-ray that looked horrible, so I did a CT scan.

Radiologist called it the worst case of necrotizing pneumonia he'd ever seen. The guy had like a 15%

functional lung tissue left. The patient then mentioned things had been worse after he started

using a new breath freshener spray. He whipped out one of those blunt effects, concentrated air freshener

bottles supposed to cover up green herb smell, labelled not for internal use.

Apparently he'd been using it like bernaca spray and had already gone through three bottles.

Paramedic here once had to explain to a family that putting lemon juice in the eyes of an unconscious

patient isn't an approved treatment method. And no, it didn't work.

It was an interesting moment when I had to explain why his eyes hurt, though. Smelling salts,

same logic applied for seeing acids. Anesthesiologist here, we had a patient come in for

I&D of bilateral deltoid abscesses. He apparently had thoughts of being a bodybuilder,

but instead of lifting weights or knowing someone who could hook him up with some quality roids,

he decided to bulk up using some protein powder at GNC, and mixing it with water, drawing it into

a syringe, and injecting the 20 to 40 cc's directly into the muscle. If bulk was

what he was going for, it definitely worked temporarily. A rip-roaring, localized infection makes you look

pretty swall. They also got almost a liter of pus mixed with liquefied protein powder out of each

deltoid. This also wasn't the first time he had been in

for this problem. That last line kills me. Try it once, shame on you. Try it more than once.

What the fricker are you doing with your life? My dad had an abscess on his face. It was huge,

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