Do You Have Emotionally Immature Parents? with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

I Have ADHD Podcast

Kristen Carder

Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 7 March 2023

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My conversation with Dr. Lindsay Gibson generated pure gold in this week’s episode about emotionally immature parents. It’s important to note that this is in no way parent-shaming but instead illuminates how many people with ADHD were likely raised by emotionally immature adults (and perhaps perpetuating this behavior).

We’re often led to believe that we ADHDers are always the problem. But maybe we were raised by adults that used manipulation and guilt to force us into people-pleasing and parentification to prioritize their needs and wants at all times above our own as children.

While ADHD is hereditary, emotional immaturity can sometimes be passed down through generations as well. A cycle of neurodivergence coupled with emotional immaturity is not an ideal combination, so I invite you to listen in as we discuss how to identify this type of parenting, common coping mechanisms to avoid, and the pathway toward peace and freedom.

Many of the participants in my group coaching program FOCUSED can relate to this and are in good company as we work towards being more emotionally mature adults. If you’d like to learn more about this topic, I encourage you to check out drlindsaygibson.com and read one of her many helpful books.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the I Have ADHD podcast, where it's all about education, encouragement, and coaching for adults with ADHD.
0:14.0	I'm your host, Kristen Carter, and I have ADHD.
0:18.0	Let's chat about the frustrations, humor, and challenges of adulting relationships, working, and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder.
0:27.0	I'll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential, and move from point A to point B.
0:34.0	Hey, what's up? This is Kristen Carter, and you're listening to the I Have ADHD podcast episode number 202.
0:44.0	I am medicated, I am caffeinated, and I'm ready to roll.
0:49.0	This episode, y'all, it has some major potential to change your life forever.
0:57.0	I have an illuminating conversation with Dr. Lindsey Gibson, author of the books, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and recovering from emotionally immature parents.
1:08.0	And she's here with us today to talk about the experience of being a grown adult in relationship with your own emotionally immature parents.
1:16.0	Now, you might be wondering, Kristen Carter, what do emotionally immature parents have to do with ADHD?
1:23.0	Well, my friend, I will tell you, I have a theory, and it's a theory backed by four years of experience and thousands of hours coaching ADHDers.
1:34.0	My theory is that most, maybe even all, people with ADHD were raised by emotionally immature parents.
1:45.0	Deep breaths here, y'all, and maybe even a content warning here because this episode could be difficult for some of you.
1:54.0	Now, the more I work with adults with ADHD, the more I hear the same things over and over from my clients.
2:02.0	They were not seen in childhood for who they really were.
2:06.0	They were not able to express their emotions authentically.
2:10.0	They never truly felt understood, and they've always felt obligated to prioritize their parents' needs and wants over their own needs and wants.
2:21.0	So, of course, we know that ADHD is hereditary, but I would like to go on record saying that I believe emotional immaturity is also passed down from generation to generation.
2:35.0	And so, what we get is a repeated cycle of neurodivergence coupled with emotional immaturity until someone decides to break the cycle of emotional immaturity.
2:48.0	And maybe that's you.
2:51.0	Now, hear me.
2:54.0	This is not apparent shaming or apparent blaming podcast episode.
	...

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