All right.

I have possibly my favorite sports story of the new year.

And I'm just going to present this with...

Is this going to hurt me?

Potentially.

Potentially.

I want to read something to you.

And I just want your unfiltered reaction to this.

And people, be thankful this isn't what we're dealing with.

The San Francisco 49ers, GM, John Lynch, has revealed the team is looking into a wild conspiracy

that claims an electrical substation is to blame for their long-running injury crisis.

Over the past decade, the Niners have been crippled by endless injuries,

losing a staggering $95 million in salary cap value to players on their injury lists this year alone.

That's basically 40% of the salary cap.

According to a researcher named Peter Cowan, who is a board certified quantum biology practitioner,

the Niners fitness problems may be a result of chronic exposure to low frequency

electromagnetic fields from the substation located right next to their stadium and practice facility.

Now what I can't show you while listening to this show is the overhead footage.

Guys, when they say it's right next to, it's right next to.

If you fell out of the window of the substation, you'd land in the end zone of the practice facility.

Yeah, it basically think of it like this.

It's Comerica Park to Ford Field.

...