When we explain to our partners and families that we need them to pitch in around the house, we sometimes hear back that the real problem is our too-high standards. That if we actually think "doing the laundry" means FOLDING the laundry, instead of leaving it in the dryer, that that is just too high a bar. Eve Rodsky, author of FAIR PLAY, suggests that partners establish a "minimum standard of care" for household duties. But how does that get set? And is that really all it takes? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: How to use "community standards" to determine minimum standards of care The tired old idea that women have impossible standards Why it might be your system that's the problem, and not your partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Sheila Wray Gregoire for Bare Marriage: EMOTIONAL LABOR SERIES: HOW DO WE DECIDE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE? Listen to our Fresh Take with Eve Rodsky Eve Rodsky's FAIR PLAY: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943 Leslie Goldman for The Cut: The Marriages Hanging On by a $19 Deck of Cards Buy Lyz Lenz's book THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices