Hello, hello everybody. I'm Lexi, don't let the title scare you. Stay with me on this one.

All right? So if you listen to last week's episode I

showed up Chipper gave the playlist of songs I was listening to because I

felt on Cloud 9 I told you about travels that I was taking and now I'm back.

In the last few weeks I've been to London and Paris and Post-itano and Naples and New York City and Warrington Virginia back to Los Angeles and I'm beat and exhausted and the last part of my trip in Virginia was throwing an event for my mom.

I so badly wanted to throw something to honor my mom to celebrate her life and that is what I did over the weekend and it was really intense and now I'm

on the verge of tears I have been on and off all day and for the past few days where I just feel completely deflated.

Everything feels serious when I'm in a major stage of grief because grief comes in waves.

I lose my sense of humor. There's a heaviness that

enters my body and a seriousness. It was really nice to get to see my family who I don't see that often also to see my mom's side of the family

who I hardly have seen since her passing and to have them come up to Virginia and visit and be here and then I had four of my best

friends from my childhood come from all over the country, Georgia, Los Angeles, New York, to be there.

It's a core memory now, like watching two of my best friends I haven't seen in too long,

walk through the door of the event space and I see them and I'm just losing

and I just start crying because you really can have a support system and such an emblem and symbol of love from someone that's

not your immediate family and I think that was overwhelming me that these people are family to me and that is just out of choice that we've met and

said I love you and I'll be there for you and I am here oh my god it. It's just really beautiful. It was really nice to see people and my mom loved tea. It was her little passion. She spent a small fortunate Teavana in the mall growing up with all these

different kinds of Earl Graz and black teas that were her favorite but also loved a fruit

tea. I'll get there I could just go on and on about this and after she retired from being a teacher for 30 some odd years,

she chose to work at T. Bionna in the mall and I thought, thought all right whatever you do your thing and to honor her we had high

tea in the plains in Virginia and it was very nice it was very nice. Her brother and my dad and me we gave little speeches. It's you know

what's so unfair is that it should have been about my mom and I was so

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