Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, BTR.org. I'm Anne. I'm sure you remember what it was like when you were searching for help, maybe for your husband, hoping to find the right program or therapist. That's why I started podcasting. I supported my husband through seven years of pornography addiction recovery and not one therapist during that time told me I was experiencing emotional

and psychological abuse and sexual coercion. I didn't want any other woman on the planet to be in

the dark. If you're like the majority of my listeners, you're experiencing the type of abuse that's

invisible and difficult to wrap your head around. Your husband is using porn or having

affairs or lying to you, and you're getting the same bad advice about how to improve communication

or your relationship. If you need support from women who totally understand, check out our daily

group session schedule at BTR.org slash group. We'd love to see you in a session today. One simple, anonymous way to help spread the word

is to click, follow, or subscribe to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast on your favorite

podcasting app. While you're there, every five-star rating helps make this podcast more visible

and will help save other women from getting the wrong kind of help, like a couple

program that will make this type of abuse worse. For those of you who follow or subscribe to this

podcast, thank you so much. Your support means so much to me. I'm more than excited to have my

friend Gretchen Baskerville on today's episode. She's a Christian living in the Los Angeles area.

She's been doing Christian divorce recovery ministry in churches since 1998. As you can imagine, she's heard many, many

heartbreaking stories of betrayal and abuse. And from her experience, she's found that when Christian

women find themselves married to serial cheaters or men who are sexually

immoral or physically or emotionally abusive, these women tend to try to fix their marriage.

They pray, they forgive, they go to counseling.

One of the reasons is because they feel like they need to be married and they're not sure they'll be able to find a good

men out there. They're really terrified of being single and so they think I better make it work

with this guy because I don't want to be single and it's going to be too hard for me to find

a good man. At the end we're going to address the question, do good men exist? And we're

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