Do Conflict Better With Amy Gallo

The Anxious Achiever

Morra Aarons-Mele

Business, Careers, Management, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 599 Ratings

🗓️ 26 February 2026

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do difficult conversations keep you up at night, or do they make you want to avoid conflict altogether? In this episode, I sit down with workplace conflict expert Amy Gallo, author of Getting Along, to talk about how healthy conflict actually strengthens trust, decision-making, and leadership confidence. We dive into how our brains get emotionally hijacked during difficult conversations, how avoidance creates “conflict debt,” and why learning to stay grounded in discomfort may be one of the most important leadership skills we can build. Tune in to learn how to face conflict calmly to reduce anxiety and make you a more confident leader. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand, and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why conflict feels especially hard for anxious achievers. 04:30 How avoiding conflict increases anxiety. 06:15 What happens during an emotional “amygdala hijack”? 08:00 The cost of conflict avoidance and conflict debt. 10:30 How difficult conversations build confidence over time. 12:30 What is the role of shame and fear in workplace conflict? 17:00 How to practice conflict safely in low-stakes situations. 22:30 The 4-step framework for handling conflict better. 27:30 Finding shared goals during disagreement. 32:15 What to do when conflict keeps you up at night. 34:15 How to repair conversations that went badly. Resources + Links Get your copy of Amy’s book Getting Along HERE Learn more about Amy Gallo HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Amy: on LinkedIn @amyegallo + Instagram @amyegallo

Transcript

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0:00.0	Conflict, even the word, right? Even that word can trigger us. If you're an anxious achiever,
0:12.7	you know, conflict can be something that you avoid very successfully, right? You may think that conflict is going to change how someone perceives you or that
0:25.2	if you bring up something that evokes strong feelings in another person that they won't like
0:32.9	you or they'll ice you out or it will be your fault. Today's guest, Amy Gallo, is an expert on healthy conflict.
0:43.3	She's author of The Great Book, Getting Along, a longtime editor at Harvard Business Review.
0:50.3	And the thing that Amy has taught me in the years that I've known her is that having our feelings
0:57.7	and being resilient enough to unhook from them is the greatest leadership strength ever.
1:07.2	And how does this relate to conflict?
1:08.8	When we can have healthy conflict, it means that we can
1:13.1	unhook, we can separate ourselves from all of the uncomfortable feelings that we're having about
1:19.6	an upcoming difficult conversation, or will this person like me, or will they judge me, or will
1:25.2	I feel like an idiot? And we can still stand strong as
1:30.0	ourself, even in the midst of great discomfort. Oh boy, is that the lesson of a lifetime, right?
1:37.7	Getting unhooked. So Amy Gallo, to me, is one of the wisest people I know, and I know you'll enjoy this conversation
1:46.4	on engaging in healthy conflict, even if it makes you anxious.
1:54.9	Hi, Amy Gallo.
1:56.5	Hi, Morris. So nice to hear you, see you, be with you.
2:00.4	Well, same. I'm going to ask you a question that I actually, I don't think even though we know each other that I know the answer to, which is that you are an expert on managing conflict in the workplace and difficult conversations.
2:24.3	How? Why? What started this journey for you?
2:31.8	Gosh. I mean, if I really think about it, it started with having divorced parents and having sort of navigate, you know, having two households and being with
2:36.9	people who didn't, being the daughter of two people who didn't speak to each other. And I think
2:42.5	from an early age, I was really interested in how people handled contentious interactions. And then, you know, fast forward to my early career.
	...

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