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So I remember the exact moment 20 years ago when it hit me that our adopted kids often have

more intense needs than

other kids.

I was roughhousing with this boy named Alexander.

He'd been adopted from Russia.

And it seemed like all the Russian kids we worked with were named Alexander.

He was this fiery little guy who craved sensory pressure, attention, affirmation, and

things, especially anything other kids

had that he didn't we were wrestling out on the lawn when my knee accidentally hit

him in the head and I noticed a switch flipped in his eyes his face turned red there

was rage shame betrayal anger it's kind of like he'd been disrespected.

And he put his head down as if he were a bull about to charge me. And we were just learning a

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