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Begin Again with Davina McCall

DJ Fat Tony: Surviving My Darkest Years & What Recovery Really Looks Like

Begin Again with Davina McCall

FlightStory

Mental Health, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.6971 Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2026

⏱️ 91 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

No matter how far you fall, it’s never too late to rebuild your life… In this episode of Begin Again, DJ Fat Tony sits down for a raw and deeply honest conversation about survival, healing, and what recovery really looks like. Tony opens up about a childhood shaped by trauma, the chaotic world of London’s club scene, and the years he spent chasing escape in nightlife, fame, and excess. From discovering the dancefloor as a teenager to building a career surrounded by music, fashion, and iconic figures, Tony reflects on the highs that defined an era and the personal battles happening behind the scenes. With remarkable candour, he shares how unresolved pain, loss, and self-destruction eventually forced him to confront the life he was living. What follows is a powerful story of reckoning, resilience, and the long road to rebuilding a life with honesty and self-respect. This conversation is not just about the past, it’s about the courage it takes to change, the truth about recovery, and the possibility of beginning again no matter how far you’ve fallen. Join DJ Fat Tony as he reflects on the moments that nearly broke him, the lessons that saved him, and why transformation is always possible. 🌟 Like, comment, and subscribe for more powerful conversations about resilience, healing, and reinvention. Tap the bell to stay connected with new episodes of Begin Again. Follow us here:📸 www.instagram.com/beginagain🎥 https://www.tiktok.com/@beginagainpod  (00:00) Intro (01:29) Special Letter From His Therapist & Co-Author, Tara (11:07) Tony on Childhood Trauma and Relationship With His Father (21:34) Airbnb Ad (22:40) Bloom & Wild Ad (23:35) Finding Himself in the Club Scene (30:33) His Close Friendship With Boy George (33:16) Tony's Sex, Alcohol, and Drug Addictions (38:58) DJ Career and Breaking Into Music (50:10) Tony's Mother’s Hospitalisation and Rock Bottom (58:35) HIV Diagnosis (01:00:54) The Path to Recovery (01:03:48) The Steps of Sobriety and Supporting Others (01:05:33) Arrest and Imprisonment (01:11:30) Meeting His Love, Stavros, and Finding Himself (01:22:12) Tony's New Book, Recover Me Sponsored by: Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.co.uk/Host Bloom & Wild - use code DAVINA for 15% off at https://www.bloomandwild.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=begin_again Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I was 14. I wanted to be friends with Boy George. I remember saying...

0:03.1

Who cares wildly for you? Is it your mum? Or is it someone who stepped in and became mum to you?

0:11.6

I lost my mum 18 years ago and our relationship was complicated to say the least.

0:16.7

But I have been so blessed to have my step-mom, Gabby. My goodness, she's been there for me through everything.

0:23.5

Mother's Day's coming up and I think it's such a lovely day.

0:27.5

But it's also a really good reminder to tell the women who've held you up in your life how much you love them.

0:34.3

And sending flowers with a little card, don't forget the card everyone,

0:39.5

is a really lovely way to do that. Our sponsor Bloomin-Wil delivers the most gorgeous blooms

0:44.0

like these ones. And their flowers are sent in bud, so they just arrive beautifully fresh and

0:49.3

they last for absolutely ages. And if you really want to go all out, you could add a little candle or maybe

0:55.9

some chalkies. So this Mother's Day care wildly with Bloom and Wild. And I've got a code,

1:02.7

oh! Use my code, Davina, for 15% off your next bunch.

1:08.4

My name is Sherlock Holmes. It's an unusual name. Introducing young Sherlock, a new Guy Ritchie series. What's a game I'm we playing today? Discover the origins. It's leaving. Those days aren't really behind me. Of crime's most iconic mind. There has been a break-in. Astoned. You should be a detective. Starring hero finds Tiffin, Donald Finn and Colin Firth. If you start wearing a hat like that, I will no longer be friends with you. Young Sherlock, new original series, watch now only on Prime Video. Who does your hair? They're not dreadlocks, they're locked. To someone who's just about to become one of the biggest stars on the planet, because I'd rather you hate me than like me. All I knew was negative attention because I never ever wanted anyone to know the real me. You very nearly lost it all. I did lose it all that. At what point did you find the club scene? I was dating the manager and I would say people leave and they don't like the music. He said, well, if you think you can do, Bell, why didn't you do it? I was like, you know what, I will? And then the next minute, I'm playing at Palada in New York. I was so busy being caught up in the toniaisms of life. I didn't know how to love myself. Over the years of lots of alcohol and certain drugs, I was in prison for about three months.

2:20.0

My mum had cancer at that point in time on top of that stuff.

2:23.4

My house was being bugged.

2:24.6

My ex-partner had basically poor recording devices in my every room in my house.

2:30.4

When did it tip over the edge?

2:32.4

My mum come over and found me unconscious and rushed me to hospital. And then that was the day that I was diagnosed. With HIV? Yeah, I was dying. The journey's been made a lot easier because of people like yourself in my life. Stavi, came into my life. It makes me love myself. I'm going to read you something. It's it's not your will. No, no, it's not that.

2:51.9

My head's just stood on then. That shut you up, didn't it? Yeah, didn't you? Just.

2:59.0

Tony? Yes. Yay!

3:02.9

Back together again. It's you and me. You know what? I used to watch this. I watched this podcast and the trailers for it every time. And I think, she's a bitch. She's not had me on at all. You know what I mean? All the years I've known her and she's got these like people she's met once at dinner and that's it. Do you know what I mean?

3:24.7

You're here.

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