Hey, welcome back to the Personality Hacker Podcast. My name is Joel Mark Witt.

And I'm Antonio Dodge. When I was married to my ex-wife, like 10, 15 years ago,

we would get into arguments.

And I remember when I would posit things out,

like, and even when I would try to maybe call her

on something and say, hey, that's not cool you did that thing.

I remember her throwing back to me, like, well, you did that in this situation over here or

well, how come you're so perfect because you have a mess up over on this side over in this thing on your in your life I

just go oh you're right I guess I can't really call you out on that because you're

totally right I am I have a deficiency there so I guess you win this one so I kind of would frame it and that

didn't just happen with her it happened with a lot of people in my life but I remember that very

clearly in that relationship in specificity and I had a really hard time going

through life when somebody would do something that would be an offense to me

something I was like frustrated by and I would want to talk with them about it. I remember either

self-censoring myself and saying well who am I to call that person out on that thing? I

mean I've got stuff that's not perfect in my life either Or they maybe would be in some kind of a debate or an argument and they would say, well look at this. You have this thing over in your life and I said, yeah, you're right. I guess I have to abandon course of calling you out on this. And it's only been in the last maybe five years

that I've gotten really good at going, wait a second, just because I've got something in my life doesn't mean I'm wrong in this

situation or that I don't have a valid point here. I don't have a boundary in this.

It's something that I've really worked through to say I can't just sacrifice myself

because I'm not perfect because no one's perfect. I'm never going to be

perfect. I mean it sounds so basic right it sounds like such a basic concept

but it's been something that kind of stuck in my psyche after all the personal growth I've done after a lot of the work I've done it was something that even five years ago I still had an issue with and it's it's something that I've worked through and I don't do as much now but it still comes up for me sometimes you know sometimes in our business I'll ask I'll have a trigger of like asking one of our team members to do something or or or maybe take the hit on something like well I don't know I don't I'm not perfect in that area so I can't really ask them to do this because I wouldn't I

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