And now it's time for who's smarted.

P. P. Hey, smarty pants!

As you can hear from the Musak, I'm not in a very cool department store

in a not very cool mall.

But hey, the prices can't be beat. Let's see they got boxers, briefs, boxer briefs,

boxer briefs, super supportive ultra compression butt-shaping mantites. Yikes, not for me.

Confession time smarty pants, you've caught me running an embarrassing errand.

That's right, I'm underwear shopping.

Well, it's actually not that embarrassing.

After all, we all wear underwear. Well, it's actually not that embarrassing.

After all, we all wear underwear.

But it is boring.

In fact, underwear shopping may possibly be one of the most boring things you can do.

Hey, who you you calling boring?

Uh, hi there, talking pair of underwear?

That's right.

A talking pair of underwear.

Looks like things just got a little less boring, am I right?

You're right. This is definitely a first for me and for who's smarted.

And believe me, I talk to everything.

Yeah, well you haven't lived until you've jawed with your draws, or shared a snicker with your knickers or jockeyed with your jockeys or I think we get the point Mr.

Do you have a name? Of course I have a name. Call me Whitey.

...