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Do you remember the first letter you answered?

I think it was called Desperate in Rockland and it was about a 16 year relationship.

Basically it was sort of like there were limitations to this

relationship and after 16 years it still wasn't really good. The main thing I

remember about the first letter is that there were all these like very

normal things, you you know relationship problems

communication problems and then this line he won't even show me his feet.

Meredith Goldstein is the advice columnist at the Boston Globe.

She's been answering letters from readers for more than a decade.

And that was the first lesson of, you think you know a problem and you think you know all the

details because one letter is like another but no no no

then somebody says this man won't show me his feet and I just remember really zeroing in on that

line and thinking could I be with someone who was afraid to show me their feet and

...