And now, a message from the President of the United States.

Oh, wow.

Thank you, and you.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday and got what they wanted for Christmas.

I got what I wanted, my very own someone else's Nobel Prize,

which I'll cherish. Oh, Marco's passing me a note here. Don't read this

out loud, but maybe don't talk about that. Also, do you like me circle yes or no?

Marco, I'm going to need a third option. Now, let's get a few words from my vice president, J.D. Vance.

While you're talking, I'm just going to sort of walk around in the background and look out windows.

Thank you, Mr. President.

You know, actually, I'd like to spend some time today, you know, talking about the new tariffs and for those people who oppose, you know, our mission in Greenland.

Hey, you know what? I see a Cardinal and a Blue Jay in the same tree.

Wow, you don't see that a lot. Very interesting.

Sir, are you okay?

No, I'm not. I don't think so. Thank you, J.D.

Next up, I'd like to bring in't think so. Thank you, J.D.

Next up, I'd like to bring in a member of my cabinet who wears many hats in terms of responsibility and hat.

Secretary of Homeland Security, Christy Noam.

Obviously, there's been clashes on both sides in Minneapolis, and have we been perfect? Yes. And I know a lot of

people looking at the situation in Minnesota are wondering the same thing. Can I join ICE? Well,

let me ask you this. Is your neck wider than your head? Are you currently wearing a Punisher T-shirt?

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall because your son took a dance class? If the answer is yes, then grab a gun, any gun, and settle up, big boy.

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