Thank you, thank you.

I'm clearly touched by your love for me.

Good evening, everyone.

So this week it was announced that Mike Tyson will fight Floyd Mayweather in an exhibition match.

I don't want to say they're past their prime, but the undercard features Joe Biden versus

gentleman Jim Corbyr. On a recent podcast, Obama claimed aliens were real, but he hasn't seen them.

It's the same way one man describes his feet.

Regarding the release of the Epstein files, Hillary Clinton said she never had a friendship with Jeffrey Epstein.

And the only time she met him was when he was at the end of his rope.

Jill Biden's ex-husband is set to enter court and plea for charges.

Meanwhile, Jill's current husband is set to enter hospice and plea for chocolate.

Disney's annual pride event canceled its 35th anniversary due to a lack of sponsors.

It's a bummer considering they had just installed glory holes in it's a small word.

No. Britt Terry and Megan Markle attended the NBA all-star game when lebron james wanted the ball

megan said hold on i've got two in my purse oh very good that was well done well done

morocco is massacring millions of stray dogs to prepare for the 2030 World Cup soccer tournament,

leading many to wonder which is worse, massacring dogs or soccer.

Terrible story.

Good joke, though.

NASA scientist warns there's no way to stop thousands of asteroids from striking major cities.

The good news, after what Democrats have already done to them, no one will notice.

More of a thought than a joke.

...