When there are ghosts that have come from the earth, or a Phantom of Night that has no honor, or one that lies dead in the desert, or a ghost unburied, or a demon, or a ghoul, whatever thou be until thou art remorning.

Thou shalt find here no water to drink, thou shalt not stretch or thy hand to arrow.

Into our house enter thou not, through all thanks, breakthrough, thou not.

We are protected that we may be frightened. Our life you may not steal, that we may be scared to death.

Welcome to Scared to Death, creeps and peepers.

Woohoo! I'm Dan.

Hi Dan, I'm Lindsay.

Thanks for showing up here and hanging with us.

Yeah, thanks for being our friends.

Fun place to get some scares, be reminded not to be a Darren.

Spooky, boopy.

That too.

We're going to move our brief announcements to the end of the show today, and probably going forward so we can move right into the stories.

Because dive right in.

The reason that you are here.

Exactly.

How many stories do you have today?

I didn't even ask before the show.

I have two.

You have two.

Both of which take us to Hawaii.

Oh really?

...