DEEP DIVE: What Can We Add? What Can We Take Away?

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Kids & Family, Comedy, Parenting

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 6 October 2025

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The human tendency to solve problems by adding something is called "additive solution bias." However, sometimes a problem is more quickly and effectively solved by taking something away. In this episode we talk about how "additive solution bias" can play out in our parenting strategies, and how we can become more aware of the times when what we actually need to do is take something away. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why our brains are wired to solve problems by adding things How additive solution bias increases along with the size of the problem we're attempting to solve Why removing something, or doing less, isn't automatically easier Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to ⁠whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm⁠ to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Diana Kwon for Scientific American: ⁠"Our Brain Typically Overlooks This Brilliant Problem-Solving Strategy"⁠ Gabrielle S. Adams, et. al for Nature: ⁠"People systematically overlook subtractive changes"⁠ Less is more: Why our brains struggle to subtract Anthony Sanni: ⁠Additive Bias—and how it could be affecting your productivity⁠ ⁠Braess's paradox⁠ Rachel Fairbank for Lifehacker: ⁠"Why You Should 'Subtract' From Your Parenting"⁠ ⁠SUBTRACT by Leidy Klotz⁠ Our Fresh Take with Amanda Montell ⁠Our Fresh Take with Yael Schonbrun⁠ ⁠THE SENSORY CHILD GETS ORGANIZED by Carolyn Dalgliesh⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	The Swedish are so great that their bikes don't have wheels, people.
0:06.1	What fresh hell.
0:07.8	Laughing in the face of motherhood.
0:09.8	That doesn't mean they're going to magically stop fighting 30 seconds later.
0:12.9	With Margaret Abels and Amy Wilson.
0:15.4	We're not suggesting if you have too many children, give one of them away.
0:18.8	A podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas
0:21.7	so you don't have to. How can I make this more fun for everybody?
0:31.3	Hello, one and all, and welcome to what fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood. This is Margaret.
0:38.8	And this is Amy. And this week, we are talking about what in our parenting can we add and what can we take away.
0:45.4	This is a topic that I kind of had in our list. I wanted to talk about it. And then last week's
0:50.3	fresh take with Amanda Montel, we had one part of our conversation. I thought, oh,
0:55.0	yeah, this is it. And this is a whole episode. And I cannot wait to talk about this.
0:58.9	Yeah, this, I could see all of Amy's neurons light up when this came up. But it is super interesting.
1:07.9	And I also have a lot of thoughts on it. So away we go, Amy. Let's get right to the
1:13.7	science. So today we're talking about something that Amanda mentioned in the episode and her book,
1:19.0	which is called The Age of Magical Overthinking. There's a cognitive bias that all of us humans all
1:24.2	have, which is something called the additive solution bias. And it is the tendency
1:29.1	for all human beings when we are faced with the problem to favor adding things instead of
1:34.9	taking things away as a means of solving the problem. So fascinating. Yes. Even when taking things
1:43.2	away might be the better solution. And I have the perfect example,
1:47.1	which is how kids learn to ride bikes. Certainly when we were growing up, everybody learning to
	...

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