DEEP DIVE: Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. Gordon Neufeld on Maintaining Healthy Connection with Our Kids

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Kids & Family, Comedy, Parenting

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 17 November 2025

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week, we're revisiting our interview with Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. Gordon Neufeld. In the revised edition of their book ⁠HOLD ONTO YOUR KIDS⁠, Dr. Maté and Dr. Neufeld explain the crucial importance of remaining attached to our children as they grow. Dr. Gordon Neufeld is an internationally renowned psychologist and foremost authority on child development, and founder of the Neufeld Institute. Dr. Gabor Maté is a renowned speaker and bestselling author, highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development. Amy, Dr. Maté, and Dr. Neufeld discuss: Why "peer orientation" doesn't actually have to be the way things go How cultural shifts in society have accelerated the rise of peer orientation How we can reattach to our children and remain their most important role model Here's where else you can find Dr. Maté and Dr. Neufeld: gabormatemd (IG); @DrGaborMate (X); Gabor Maté (FB) @NeufeldInst (X); Neufeld Institute (FB) Buy HOLD ONTO YOUR KIDS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780375760280 Free resources from Dr. Gordon Neufeld: ⁠https://neufeldinstitute.org/resources/free/⁠ See presentations and talks from Gordon Neufeld: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@neufeldmedia⁠ Follow Dr. Gordon Neufeld's work on: Facebook:⁠ https://www.facebook.com/NeufeldInstitute⁠ Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/neufeldinstitute/ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you. Hold On to Your Kids, Gabor Maté parenting, Gordon Neufeld attachment theory, parent–child connection, child development, peer orientation, parenting teens, attachment parenting, emotional connection with kids, maintaining attachment with children, adolescent psychology, parenting challenges, family relationships, emotional intelligence in children, connection over correction, raising resilient kids, attachment and independence, conscious parenting, Neufeld Institute, parenting podcast, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everybody, welcome to Fresh Take from What Fresh Hell Laughing in the Face of Motherhood. This is Amy.
0:07.1	Today, I'm talking to Dr. Gordon Newfeld and Dr. Gabber Mate.
0:11.2	Dr. Gordon Newfeld is an internationally renowned psychologist and foremost authority on child development and founder of the Newfeld Institute.
0:19.0	Dr. Newfeld is recognized for his unique ability to
0:22.1	unlock the clues to seemingly complex problems of child rearing and education. Dr. Matei is a
0:28.0	renowned speaker and bestselling author, highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics,
0:33.7	including addiction, stress, and childhood development. Dr. Matei has written several bestsellers,
0:39.2	including the international bestseller, The Myth of Normal, Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a
0:44.0	toxic culture, and scattered minds, the origins and healing of attention deficit disorder.
0:49.7	Today, I'll be talking to Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Matte about the newly released and updated version of their book,
0:56.9	Hold on to Your Kids, Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. Thank you, Dr. Neufeld, Dr. Metz, for talking to me today.
1:03.8	So let's start with peer orientation, which is the sort of central thesis of this book, this thing we need to focus on.
1:09.7	Can you define for us, Dr. Neufeld,
1:12.2	what that means? Well, it needs to be differentiated from peer relationships or peer attachments.
1:17.5	There's nothing wrong with peer relationships or peer attachments. It's when a child is orbiting
1:24.0	around the peers or peer groups, where it pulls them out of orbit from the adults
1:29.8	responsible for them. And that has profound implications and that competes with the attachments
1:36.7	to the adults that are responsible for them. It's sort of a being cool matters more than anything
1:43.0	else, what the peers think of your behavior
1:44.9	becomes more important and you start to shape it towards your peers? Yes, well, they matter
1:49.6	whether it's being cool or not would have to do with whether your peers are cool. So it doesn't
1:55.0	really have to do with that. That would be a particular manifestation. But it definitely
	...

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