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What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

DEEP DIVE: Do We Need to Lower Our Standards?

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Parenting, Kids & Family, Comedy

4.6962 Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This Deep Dive series is all about why motherhood is so gosh darn hard. Turns out there are sociopolitical forces at play that make motherhood way harder than it needs to be. Listen to the full playlist on Spotify. When we explain to our partners and families that we need them to pitch in around the house, we sometimes hear back that the real problem is our too-high standards. That if we actually think "doing the laundry" means FOLDING the laundry, instead of leaving it in the dryer, that that is just too high a bar. Eve Rodsky, author of FAIR PLAY, suggests that partners establish a "minimum standard of care" for household duties. But how does that get set? And is that really all it takes? In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: How to use "community standards" to determine minimum standards of care The tired old idea that women have impossible standards Why it might be your system that's the problem and not your partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Sheila Wray Gregoire for Bare Marriage: EMOTIONAL LABOR SERIES: HOW DO WE DECIDE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE? Listen to our Fresh Take with Eve Rodsky Eve Rodsky's FAIR PLAY: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943 Leslie Goldman for The Cut: The Marriages Hanging On by a $19 Deck of Cards Buy Lyz Lenz's book THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:32.2

As long as I'm not the one cleaning up the rakes, I guess I don't really care about that.

0:36.2

What fresh hell.

0:38.0

Laughing in the face of motherhood. Oh, don't ever come to my house and not rinse a dish.

0:43.6

With Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. There is a community standard around you do bring a wrapped gift to a child's birthday party.

0:51.5

A podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas. So you don't have to.

0:56.0

Could you just do it, but don't make it better? Just do it my way. Hello, everyone, and welcome

1:02.7

to What Fresh Hell, laughing in the face of motherhood. This is Margaret. And this is Amy. And today

1:08.3

we're talking about whether we're supposed to lower our standards.

1:13.1

Do you remember the old? Maybe we can link to it on the show notes. I believe it was Mad TV that had a dating app.

1:22.6

It was lowered expectations. Lowered expectations. It's an old deluxe alert back in my day. And we've hit it many times. Lowered expectations. Lowered expectations. It's an old deluxe alert back in my day.

1:29.6

And we've hit it many times.

1:31.3

Lowered expectations.

1:32.7

That was for dating, that you should lower your standards and then you'll have more success in dating.

1:36.4

I mean, an apt comparison because often the idea is, I've had it certainly presented to me.

1:43.5

Like, well, you like things done a

1:44.7

certain way, so I can't put the dishes away because I don't know where they go. And I usually call

...

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