What is a good mother? What is a bad mother. What is a traditional mother? Let's sit with all those questions for just a hot second and then realize that there's no right answers. Humans lived for 95% of our existence as hunter-gatherers: we raised children communally and in a way that was dramatically different from contemporary post-industrial societies. What can we take away from historical models of caregiving to help us get rid of the guilt and shame that social media heaps on us? We discuss it all with science writer Elena Bridgers including: Modern mothering lacks historical precedent. Current parenting models are harder on mothers. Leisure time is crucial for mothers' well-being. Community support significantly aids parenting. Myths about traditional motherhood need debunking. Understanding evolutionary biology can inform modern parenting. It's important to explore alternative parenting options. Having different options and being able to talk through what might work for you is key. The conversation should focus on maternal mental health, not just children's well-being. Moms are struggling with guilt and burnout from balancing work and childcare. Social isolation is a significant issue for modern mothers. The traditional models of motherhood are not representative of our evolutionary past. Children in hunter-gatherer societies had more autonomy and playtime. Parenting skills are often learned through experience, not instinct. Teenagers used to play a significant role in childcare, which has diminished. The structure of modern society contributes to feelings of loneliness among mothers. We need to rethink the support systems for mothers to improve mental health. Follow Elena's newsletter here. Join our newsletter community here. Pre-order EVERYONE IS LYING TO YOU here. Visit our lovely sponsors here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices