Welcome to Narcissist Apocalypse, everyone. I am Brandon Chadwick, and this is our debrief episode for Kara's story. And we do have a content warning for today as we do discuss physical abuse and suicide threats in this debrief episode. And before we get to the key takeaways and fear, obligation, guilt, and shame of Kara's story,

here is a summary of Kara's story for those of you who have not listened yet.

Kara grew up as the middle child of three girls in a working class, Midwestern neighborhood

with very strong Catholic roots. And on the outside,

her family seemed involved and outgoing. But at home, there was a lot of chaos. Her father's

struggle with alcoholism and her mother was often angry and sometimes violent toward her.

And Kara became very attuned to the emotions of the adults around her,

especially her father. And after her parents divorced, Kara moved with her mother and sisters to a

different area. They did not have much money and Kara became independent at a very young age.

During middle school, she struggled with bullying, anxiety, depression, shame. She spent a lot of

time reading, exploring spirituality, alternative health, and psychology, just trying to understand

herself and find ways to heal. And as an adult, Kara entered a 16-year marriage with someone

who made her feel seen at first.

They built a life, had a child together.

But over time, Kara felt invisible, alone, and emotionally abused.

And the marriage ended when she was discarded for a much younger person. And afterward, Kara went to therapy.

And Kara met the person that this story was about,

the abuser that the story was about

through a mutual friend in a 12-step program. She was not looking for a relationship, but he

pursued her heavily. He was younger, very complimentary, and constantly telling her that she was

beautiful, made her dinner, gave her gifts, wrote poetry, and gave her attention that she had not received

in years. And Kara noticed some red flags, including the intensity of the compliments that were

...