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Hello and welcome to You Me in the Big C. I'm Mike Holt, producer of the podcast.

What you're about to hear is a conversation I had with Deborah.

A few days after she found out that her treatment was stopping and she was switching over to

palliative care.

As you can imagine, because of the situation, this conversation gets deep and very emotional

at times, although we do manage a few laughs.

We want to give you fair warning before we go into it.

There's always the option to skip this episode or come back to it at a later date if you

wanted to.

When Rachel first introduced this podcast four years ago, we promised to give you the

ups as well as the downs.

Well, sadly, this is one of those heartbreaking downs.

When we recorded, I was sat in our old studio in Sulford, as she was sat in the garden at

a moment, dad's house in the sunshine.

Now this might seem like a strange opening question to some, but really, it was the only place

I could start.

Hey, Deb, how you doing?

I could say I'm doing fine, but not.

I think the last week, I've processed what I knew was coming in the last five years.

And I've got to the point that I kind of feel like I've been playing with the devil.

And I think, you know, we think, oh, no, it's caught up with me now.

...