Hey, a heads up. This episode contains mentions of gun violence and suicide. So please take care while listening.

The first time I came out, I was saying I'm your exact same son and I'm gay.

This is a little bit more like saying, i'm not the person you think i am and that's

i think that's more likely to be hurtful this is death sex and money the show from w nyc about the things This is Death, Sex, and Money.

The show from WNYC about the things we think about a lot and need to talk about more.

I'm Anna Sale.

A listener we're calling Jack.

First came out as gay to his parents when he was 19.

At the time, he was in his first semester of college and home for Thanksgiving break in West Virginia.

He didn't know how it was going to go. And beforehand, he made sure he could cover his living expenses in case his parents cut him off.

But the conversation ended up going better than he expected.

Then in his early 30s, Jack started to feel like there was something else he needed to reveal to his dad.

After growing up in a family where guns were a big part of life, for hunting, collecting, and recreational shooting, Jack no longer felt comfortable being around firearms.

It's not something that I spend any time with anymore. And so the thing I need to talk to him about is that, you know, I don't really want to own guns anymore.

And I don't really want to go shooting.

I don't want to, I don't want that to be a big part of my life.

He told me about this in an episode we first ran in 2021, about the urgency he felt to tell

his dad and also about his fears of how his dad would react.

In the two years since, Jack told me recently, a lot of that has shifted.

When I listened back to it,

I sent Afi an email saying it felt a little cringy, I think, was the phrase I used.

Cringy. Yeah. Cringy, I love that word because it's like, it's not super critical of

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