Death, Sex & Money - Financial Therapy: Why Did I Take That Risk?

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🗓️ 27 May 2020

⏱️ 29 minutes

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Summary

Two years ago, Mathew* quit an executive job and struck out on his own to found an independent consulting firm. After months of bringing in "90% less than what [he] used to," business was finally starting to pick up earlier this year—and then the pandemic hit. With clients pulling contracts and invoices being paid late, Mathew is back to square one, wondering if the risks he took were worth it—and whether the need for control that served him so well in his business career is as helpful in this crisis.

*Name changed

This episode is part of a special Financial Therapy series here on Death, Sex & Money, hosted by Amanda Clayman. If you have a money anxiety weighing you down, send an email or a voice memo to financialtherapy@wnyc.org. Find the entire series at deathsexmoney.org/financialtherapy.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi Amanda, this is Matthew in Boulder, Colorado.
0:04.0	From death, sex, and money, this is financial therapy. I'm Amanda Clayman.
0:09.0	Matthew is 40. Also, that's not his real name.
0:13.0	And two years ago, I left a job really because of money and how it was being used against others that I just didn't agree with and didn't want to stand for.
0:26.0	So he quit on principle, and he struck out on his own to start an independent consulting business.
0:31.8	So for about a year and a half, I was underemployed and brought in about 90% less into the family than what I had in the years prior to that.
0:41.7	But there were bright spots.
0:43.7	Matthew's wife was still employed, and they decided to leave the Midwest and move with their three kids to Colorado.
0:49.7	They bought a house, and eventually, toward the end of last year, Matthew's consulting work picked up.
0:55.5	And it was a great six months, and then COVID hit, and everything stopped.
1:00.9	So people that I had worked for were slow paying, going six, eight weeks between invoices.
1:08.3	And I was back to the point of not knowing how I was contributing to the family.
1:12.5	While at the same time, we were undergoing a major renovation that had spiraled out of control.
1:18.1	So now without this earnings, we're dipping further into savings. I've had to take out additional loans.
1:24.1	I've tried to get unemployment unsuccessfully.
1:33.1	Finally was approved yesterday for a PPP loan, which feels great.
1:40.6	But it's a point of real insecurity and not just today, but really like what does it look like to recover?
1:46.9	How do I get that control back that I felt like I had, but also feel like has just dissipated so quickly? And I think all of that is, um, all of that's scary. Coming up in just a
1:56.0	minute, my session with Matthew.
2:16.2	This is financial therapy from death, sex, and money. I'm Amanda Clayman. During this shutdown, money's top of mind for Matthew, and as we
2:19.1	started our session, he told me that that's a familiar feeling. He experienced a drop in income two
2:24.5	years ago when he left his last job. I was one of the executives running, one of the marketing
	...

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