Often throughout our friendship, I've had the experience of this sense that you're on really solid footing in the relationship.

There's a lot of trust and love there, which there is.

But then, you know, your white friend can just make one comment and it feels like a trap door has opened up from underneath me.

And, you know, I'm thrust back into the realities of living in a racist America.

This is death, sex, and money.

Friendship is our only social relationship that is purely voluntary.

The show from WNYC about the things we think about a lot.

It is only by mutual agreement.

And need to talk about more.

And someone can just walk away at any time.

I'm in a sale.

Krasana White was one of the people who wrote in when I asked for your stories about when race became a flashpoint in a friendship.

Sarah and I, we've been talking about our friendship in terms of race.

And I think it really started after I had my bachelorette and I didn't invite her.

Krasana's black. And everyone she did invite to her bachelorette party is also black.

She wasn't sure if Sarah, her close friend and coworker, would fit in.

She's the only white woman. She's a little older than us.

I don't want people to have to feel to, like feel like they have to filter themselves because she's here.

And I was like, it just may be easier to not invite her. Do you remember feeling like you needed to explain why she wasn't invited?

I did. And what did you say? I think it was like, okay, well, we should have a conversation about this.

Like, she made a joke and she said that I segregate my friends. And I think for me,

like, I think I became a little defensive and I said, well, I haven't met any of your white

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