Always dying means always loving. I started to think about death every day.

When I was 26, I wanted to kill myself. And I gave myself 30 days to do it. And in those 30 days,

by having death near me, I started to realize how amazing life was. I enjoyed a cup of coffee.

I enjoyed sleeping. I enjoyed a shower, a hug, a sunset. I know it's corny,

but I truly started enjoying that and being grateful for that because I was about to die.

I said to myself, I give myself 30 days of being on earth.

I approached that date, everything started to change. Things that didn't matter,

didn't worry me anymore. And the truly important things I was already missing, you know.

It was like, this is the last coffee I'm going to drink. One of the last

espresso that I will drink. Wow. So this could be one of my last sunsets.

I remember almost crying when somebody was talking to me because I was thinking,

this might be the last talk we have. You never know when the last talk with somebody will be.

You assume you'll see them again, but you don't know it. And in that moment, I realized how loving

death was always dying, meant always loving, walking near death, meant being in love.

I didn't want to see death. I was running away from it. You weren't supposed to talk about it

because you attracted. So no, no, no, don't talk about death. But I couldn't exist anymore like that.

So I had to see it. Even if I was afraid, I had to see it. And by looking death in the eyes,

I realized how loving it was. Death dissolved every stupid problem I had

and made everything that was truly important stand out. Like my kids, like my dad or mom,

like a hug, like laughing, like brushing my teeth and then farting at the same time and laughing

alone, looking at myself in the mirror. That was amazing. Taking a shit, walking, driving,

just stupid little things became amazing because I was grateful, because I knew it was ending.

...