Dear Diary: Why is the Bar Set So Low? with Tutti del Monte

The Refined Collective Podcast

Kat Harris

Honesty, Religion & Spirituality, Love, Leaders, Life, Businessowners, Authenticity, Courage, Society & Culture, Christianity

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 6 March 2023

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Language disclaimer: this episode includes explicit language so maybe listen with headphones if you’re around children.

You know how when you say something to your best friend it's not as scary as saying it to an audience of thousands of people so you feel free to be completely honest and vulnerable? Well my best friend and I recorded an episode that we didn't think we'd ever share, but here it is! We really just let ‘er rip in this convo. We talk about:

What if we gave ourselves the permission to feel anger?
Navigating disappointment in dating
Why is the bar set so low for men in dating right now?
Are our dating expectations too high?
Are we expecting our partner to meet needs for us they were never meant to need?
How do we process our disappointment in dating without turning into a bitter + cynical single woman (you know “that girl”...we’ve all met her!)
Why is voicing our needs in a romantic relationship so hard?
How owning my voice in dating has been as vulnerable as it has been liberating!

Feeling Frustrated

We share recent stories of being ghosted and stood up and how we felt about those situations and how we responded to them.
“It feels really vulnerable to put on a podcast because I get afraid that if I’m really honest about how disappointed I am with my experience with men, being a 37 year old woman, I become the ‘bitter single woman.’”

What We’re Working On

Tutti talks a lot about voicing her needs being something she wants to prioritize moving forward.
I share a breakthrough moment where I sent a text to a guy who stood me up— a text I wouldn’t have ever sent before.
What is something you are working on?

Moving Forward

Where do you think the disconnect is in these situations?
How did we get here?
How do you think we need to move forward?

Resources

Join Patreon here!
Listen to Dear Diary: Am I A Good Kisser?
Listen to Dear Diary: Excerpts from my Middle School Journal
Keep up with Tutti on Instagram at @tuttidelmonte
If you need a boudoir photographer, check out budoirbytutti.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Refine Collective Podcast. I'm your host, Cat Harris.
0:12.3	This podcast is designed to hold space for honest conversations, from purity culture to
0:19.2	faith, sexuality, relationships, identity, culture, deconstruction, and more.
0:26.6	My hope is to look doubt in the face, be curious, seek God, and ask meaningful questions
0:33.0	to address any elephant in the room with openness, nuance, and grace.
0:39.5	I won't pretend to be an expert and definitely don't have all the answers.
0:43.6	And though it may feel easier and more comfortable to exist in the black and white, I invite you
0:48.3	to discover God with me in the gray and unexpected spaces.
0:54.0	So whoever you are, whatever you do or don't believe, you are welcome here and have a seat
0:59.2	at this table.
1:02.1	Make sure you're subscribed to the Refine Collective Podcast on iTunes, so each week
1:06.4	when a new episode drops, it'll download straight to those devices.
1:11.4	And while you're at it, if you feel so inclined, leave us a five star rating and written review.
1:16.5	It would be so helpful to get our message out there.
1:20.0	All right, let's go ahead and get to it.
1:30.3	It does, does, does.
1:33.4	Okay, so we're going to be as honest as if this podcast wasn't going to be aired.
1:39.9	Correct.
1:40.4	Because we don't know if it's going to be.
1:41.6	Correct.
1:42.1	Okay.
1:45.0	I'm Catherine.
	...

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