You are tuned in to Lightworkers Lounge, tales of having a human experience in a spiritual world.

There is no denying that the world feels really heavy right now.

And sometimes I think, is this just growing up?

Here in a couple of weeks, I'll be celebrating my 35th birthday.

Oh my gosh. Halfway through my 30s. I feel like it was just two weeks ago.

I was saying 25, I'm feeling alive. And, you know, I feel like your 20s are when you're like,

yep, I'm still holding on to my youth. I'm still young. I'm still cool. And then when you hit the dirty 30, you're like, yep, I'm still holding on to my youth. I'm still young. I'm still cool.

And then when you hit the dirty 30, you're like, oh, I guess I'm cool, but I don't care if I'm cool.

I am me, and that's what's most important is that I'm me, authentic to myself. And I'm caring less and less about what people think.

But the 30 seems to be a decade

where you are learning to accept and embrace the process of aging. 20s is learning to accept that

you're not young, hip, and cool anymore. You got to become an adult, right?

That's why your Saturn return is called an initiation into adulthood,

an initiation into back pain,

initiation into needing more sleep.

But as I hit,

maybe I should just say this for a podcast on my birthday to talk about, but I think what's hitting me most is not the increase in wrinkles and sunspots on my face.

It's a reflection of, in the last five years, of half of my 30 30s have I done everything I wanted to and I feel like

the answer is no I've done some incredible things with some amazing people and I have had some

really cool experiences but and I have to take into account the pandemic, of course, kind of put everyone's

life on hold, but the answer that is a whisper in my gut is no. And I want to just melt and

whine and say, why did I waste those years? I mean, it literally makes a center of my forehead start to hurt like a

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