I'll now hand you over to my best man, Eddie.

Wow, wow, wow, second time's a charm, eh, Billy Boy?

Oh God.

Substitution, courtesy of Paddy Power, embarrassing Eddie, makes way for sensible Samuel.

Cool, that was close.

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Dear Crinkle, would you be so kind to answer our questions?

What did you have in mind? Hey there, Quinklers, it's me, Captain Crinkle, here to offer my sage advice. Tonight, scream Nazi, red face and worried

and cold butt.

All right. Yes. All right. This is Adam Felver here getting an episode of Dear Crinkle America's new favorite advice minisote. As far as we know, we've got Paula Poundstone over there.

We are without Tony Need a hold this week. She's on assignment. But let me bring to you the woman at the hour.

Paula's manager,

our friend Bonnie Burns, also known as Captain Crinkle, ready to answer your questions.

Oh yeah, Adam, that's me, that's me. Oh, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, Lord. What's our first problem?

What you just did is our first problem.

Honestly.

But let me get to our second problem, which is a letter from a listener.

...