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Oh God.

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Dear Quinkle, would you be so kind to answer our questions?

What do you have in mind?

Hey, Quinklers, it's me, Captain Quinkle, here to offer my sage advice for the forlorn, the love learn, and the well-worn.

All right.

Well, everybody, I'm Adam Pelper, and this is indeed an episode of Dear Crinkle, America's favorite new advice mini podcast, minisode.

We've got Paula Poundstone over there.

We've got Tony andita Hull in the corner. And the woman of the hour, Bonnie Burns, Captain Crinkle, Paula's manager, our friend, and America's favorite new advice hostess. Captain Crinkle, you ready to answer some questions. Thank you, Adam. I'm so worked up. I'm so excited about the questions tonight. Tony, what's our first problem?

I don't know.

...