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Practical Stoicism

Dealing With Our Heartbreak Stoically

Practical Stoicism

Evergreen Podcasts

Philosophy, Society & Culture

4.8662 Ratings

🗓️ 11 March 2024

⏱️ 20 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode I delve into the painful experience of losing a relationship, particularly one that we didn't want to end. I highlight the acute distress caused by breakups, where someone actively chooses to leave, unlike death, which is inevitable and beyond anyone's control. I discuss how Stoicism-inspired reasoning can help alleviate the pain of heartache and navigate through the grief that follows a breakup. I emphasize the concept of "indifferents" in Stoicism, things that have no power over our ability to choose virtuously. These indifferents prompt us to make choices, but they do not dictate the choices we ultimately make. The episode clarifies the distinction between "indifferents" and "indifference," explaining that Stoics do not treat indifferents with indifference. Rather, they carefully consider how their choices regarding indifferents reflect their character and virtue. Furthermore, Stoic role ethics are introduced, emphasizing the importance of fulfilling one's roles in life responsibly. The host explains that heartache can hinder our ability to fulfill our roles effectively and underscores the need to address heartache as an indifferent that could impede our progress toward cultivating a good character. Practical steps for coping with heartbreak are provided, including acceptance, understanding that another person's unhappiness does not define your worth, focusing on fulfilling other roles in life, and practicing self-care. Overall, the episode offers a Stoic perspective on navigating the emotional turmoil of heartbreak with rationality and self-care, emphasizing the importance of understanding and accepting indifferents while striving to fulfill one's roles in life responsibly. -- Become a Patron: https://stoicismpod.com/members Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://practicalstoicism.net/subscribe Pre-order my book: https://stoicismpod.com/book Podcast Artwork by Randy Johnson: https://originalrandy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Most of our media are owned by a handful of tech billionaires, but there's one place that still operates like the internet was never invented.

0:10.4

On the new season of the divided dial from On the Media, we're exploring shortwave radio, where prayer and propaganda coexist with news and conspiracy theories, and where an existential battle for the public airwaves is playing out right now.

0:26.2

Listen to On the Media wherever you get your podcasts. Good morning, precoftana. I'm glad you're here. Welcome back. Today, we're going to be talking about heartache from the stoic perspective, specifically how to deal with it. A lot of you have written in in the

0:54.8

past to ask me questions like, I'm going through a divorce with my spouse, I'm breaking up with my

1:00.4

long-time boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I need to know how to deal with this stoically. The truth of

1:06.5

the matter is, a lot of you reach out to me a lot of the time. I get half a dozen emails almost every day

1:13.2

from listeners, just like you, asking questions just like this one. And I had considered writing a book

1:20.2

to answer these questions. In fact, I may still do that, but since I already have a book coming

1:26.6

out in November, I can't do that at the same

1:28.5

time. There are rules. You can't release a book and then immediately release another book that

1:32.2

competes with the sales of the first book. The publisher gets upset with you. But what I can do is

1:37.4

start a long form, God forbid, I'm using this word, newsletter. And I say, God forbid, because I think

1:43.8

newsletters, I don't know,

1:45.4

I don't feel great about them, nobody likes more email. But newsletters, which I will now call

1:49.8

publications, email publications, are a great place to delve into longer form, deeper content.

1:56.7

And an email inbox isn't a bad place to get this stuff if you actually want this stuff.

2:01.3

So if you go to practical stoicism.net, I tried to get the dot com, but somebody else already has it.

2:07.8

I don't know who has it. They don't have anything up. I tried to contact them, but I'm stuck with

2:11.8

the dot net, folks. I'm sorry. Practical stoicism.net, you can subscribe to what is now and will always be a publication free to the

2:20.6

public, which will be delivered to your email inbox every Monday morning at 5am, U.S. Eastern Time.

2:27.4

And in each one of these editions, I'm going to be diving into a topic like, for example,

2:33.6

heartache or another example, and an

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