You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.

This week, Dan concludes his series on dealing with difficult people. He turns to the text of

of Romans 12 as he explores the ways in which forgiveness can be a means to love

and reconciliation. He explains that to offer forgiveness is to offer the gift of strength and kindness

that cannot be dismissed by the other. In our final podcast on dealing with difficult people, I want to start with a proverb that I seldom hear, at least in my 40-some years of being in the faith.

I've seldom heard anyone address this, but it's from Proverbs 21, verse 22, a wise man attacks the city of the mighty

and pulls down the strongholds in which they trust.

I'm not going to spend much time at the moment on that one category, but I want you to hear something of the very

nature of what wisdom holds. There is a heart to deal with the mighty, and in this case,

the mighty who clearly fit into the category of unrighteous. And in that, it's a desire to pull

down strongholds, and the implication of a stronghold

is not just where you have fortified, a fortified portion of your wall. But far more, it has the

implication of to take down what matters most. Or I would put it in this language, part of the task of forgiveness

is in many ways to deprive somebody of their false gods, what they indeed trust in. So keep that

as at least a very quick initial thought. And then let's start messing with this very important and in many

ways, complex category of forgiveness.

Let me give you two or three things quickly to think about.

I've addressed much of what I want to say today in the book, Bold Love, but underline that

I don't hold to the notion of forgive and forget as it's been understood.

And that is, you forgive and then you pretend or work to somehow not hold the memory of what occurred before you

so that you're using that event as a judgment to actually continue to do harm or withdraw.

The notion of forget in many ways is a commitment to remember, but to remember for a sake of doing good.

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