Dear wringers, the locked down coronavirus special.

Welcome to a special edition of today with Nick Robinson and Martha Carney.

In this programme we'll be taking a detailed and comprehensive look back at the events

of the pandemic since it took hold.

This morning, as is usual these days, we are working from our homes.

So this is the first time someone has presented today in Thomas the Tangenge and PJs since

Jim not to rolled into the studio straight from his stag do.

We'll start this retrospective by going right back to the very earliest days when customers

treated blows in the supermarket over toilet paper.

These fights were described by police as being extra strong and very, very long.

Covid-19 would soon bring economic carnage, the first signs of which were when poundland

began stocking barrels of oil.

It was late February with coronavirus spreading around the globe that Boris Johnson departed

for a two week break in chievening to recuperate from what was described as an exhausting three

week Christmas holiday in Mystique.

On his return, Mr Johnson called a press conference.

Having spoken to the scientists, I must level with the British people ahead lie dark days

as we battle this virus ahead lie terrible sacrifices.

No, no, no, not him.

Well, no, he's here.

Bad Boris.

Fuck, you cow.

...