Dead People Don't Have Any Secrets

Death, Sex & Money

Slate Audio

Careers, Sexuality, Business, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.6 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 6 October 2021

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Amanda's husband Sam had a lot of secrets, most of which she discovered after his death. That made grieving, and moving on, a lot more complicated. We're putting together an audio survival kit for listeners going through infertility. If you've struggled with infertility, tell us—what's helped you through it? Tell us about the things you've listened to, read, done or thought to yourself in a voice memo (please keep it to under a minute) and send it in to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. If you're not already subscribed to our newsletter, sign up! Every Wednesday, we send out podcast listening recommendations, your stories from our inbox, and behind-the-scenes updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Dead people don't have any secrets.
0:03.0	In fact, really sick people don't have any secrets.
0:08.8	This is death, sex, and money.
0:12.9	The show from WNYC about the things we think about a lot and need to talk about more.
0:19.9	I'm Anna Sale.
0:29.3	The first few texts that came to my husband's phone,
0:35.3	and then it became more insistent. Where are you?
0:41.6	Why are you not responding to me? This is Amanda. That's not her real name. She first told us this in an email,
0:50.7	but asked us to change all the names in this story to protect her family. I did a
0:57.1	internet search for the number. Realized I knew who it was. I wrote back and said,
1:03.8	this is Sam's wife. He can't respond to you now. He's in the hospital.
1:12.5	Please don't text anymore.
1:16.2	And at what point was that in Sam's coma?
1:19.8	He'd been in the hospital at that point for maybe three days.
1:24.2	I talked with Amanda where she works on the East Coast.
1:25.8	She's in her 40s now.
1:28.4	She was 27 when she got married to her husband,
1:30.0	who was several years older.
1:34.7	He was the most interesting person that I had ever met,
1:44.8	and it was almost like he had tried to live his life a different way.
2:04.8	And that was incredibly attractive for someone like me who grew up as part of a nuclear family with Sunday school, vacation to the shore, and everything was very routine, and I was just enchanted by that. How do you remember those early years of your marriage?
2:12.7	A learning curve growing up. I think Sam had already done a lot of his growing up, and I had to catch up to him.
	...

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